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The Bad Hockey Card Blog
This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time.
It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic
relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some
pretty serious shit!
There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them.
So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out
numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they
thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.
August 27th, 2015
Searching For Lost Balls
When it comes to pictures of NHL players driving odd things, I'm not sure we could ever top that card of Pat Falloon on a
tractor that I posted earlier.
Having said that, Curtis Joseph is making a good bid for the title of oddest
vehicular shot in hockey card history with this entry involving him piloting a
golf cart. He also earns extra points for touching his balls during this photo.
Daring move, but I think it really paid off! Not sure who the dopey NHLPA guy is
August 20th, 2015
Pat Falloon On A Tractor
Hey, It's Pat Falloon on a tractor! Need we say more? Well, we will
anyway because this is an all-time fan favourite. After an impressive junior
career that saw him record consecutive 60 goal seasons, Pat never could quite
deliver at the NHL level, which brought him all kinds of heat from the fan base
of whichever teams he was playing for throughout his nine year NHL career.
Towards the end, with his offensive output dwindling, he was also known for a
his lack of conditioning, which earned him the particularly cruel nickname of
"Fat Balloon". But apparently, he was always a farm boy at heart, as
evidenced by this card. On this day, Pat Falloon, we salute you!
August 13th, 2015
Unnecessary Hockey Cards #4
We'll give Pro Set a break here and move over to Upper Deck for our final entry in the "Unnecessary Hockey Cards" subset.
Here we have the real work horse of the hockey rink, the Zamboni, featured. That older fellow on the left is actually
Frank J. Zamboni, the guy who invented it, and the back of the card has a brief rundown on him and what the machine actually does.
To this day I feel like we could have had something truly awesome if only his last name had been "Zamboner"!
August 6th, 2015
Unnecessary Hockey Cards #3
You can make it a natural hat-trick for Pro Set as they record their third consecutive entry
under the heading of "Unnecessary Hockey Cards". To me this one stands as the
most baffling one yet. For some reason, they thought it necessary to include not
only all the refs in the league, but the linesman as well. That's right folks,
this guy's not even a freakin' ref, but a linesman! This particular picture
earns bonus points for how Ron Assesltine is showing off his crotch! Plus his
last name is ASSelstine. Hmmm... on second thought maybe this WAS worth a hockey card!
July 31st, 2015
Unnecessary Hockey Cards #2
So or course this nearly endless 90/91 Pro Set edition had to cover every coach in
the league as well. I chose this great Bob Murdoch
card because it definitely seemed like the "coachiest". Poor Bob
doesn't look too happy in this one, but then again coaching the then last place
Winnipeg Jets could get on anybody's nerves. Bob was fired at the end of this
season, but hey, he'll always have this great card to commemorate that year! So
know we've seen a puck card and coaching cards... it couldn't get any worse
could it? If you think it couldn't, you're a damned fool! Stay tuned...
July 24th, 2015
Unnecessary Hockey Cards
Back at the beginning of the 90's there was a card boom that saw an explosion of card manufacturers and
sets. Nobody really knew how much was too much at that time, but Pro Set would
be the first to find out in 90/91. They made a staggering 705 card set, released
over the course of three different series. Keep in mind that there were only 21
teams that year, so pretty much anybody that even walked by a rink made it into
this set. The set culminated with this entry: Card #705 - The Puck. Well thanks
to this card, at least now we know what the French word for puck is. Over the
next few entries, I'll delve into some of the other ridiculous examples of the
excess of this set.
July 13th, 2015
Talk about extreme close-ups! In fact we're so close in this picture that you can actually see the spittle running down
Rick Tabaracci's face and dripping from his chin. It's like the first time you saw a
TV newscast in hi-def,
allowing you to see every pimple and crack in the newscaster's skin. Just too damn much information!
July 4th, 2015
Mary Lou Retton With a Perfect Dismount!
We can't celebrate Canada Day without also giving some love to our
neighbours to the south. We have a truly fitting entry for our 4th of July
festivities! This is Steve Janasek's epic podium celebration upon winning
the gold in 1980's famed "Miracle On Ice". However, this pose doesn't
exactly invoke an image of tough-as-nails hockey players, but rather a gymnast
finishing a perfect routine. For all you kids out there that missed the
reference, Mary Lou Retton was the darling of the 1984 American Olympic team,
winning gymnastics gold on home soil. As for Steve, it's worth noting that his
moustache is also gold medal worthy!
July 1st, 2015
Hockey Canada Hijinx #2
There's no better way to celebrate Canada's birthday than with a good old fashioned World Junior card. In fact, it looks
like Joe Thornton has gotten the jump on celebrating the big day, as he already
looks pretty inebriated in this particular photo. Happy Canada Day, folks!
June 24th, 2015
With the NHL entry draft set to happen this week, it seems like a good time to look back at one of the
real classic draft stories from the past. The player you're looking at on this card is Taro Tsujimoto... sort of. He was the
Buffalo Sabres' 11th round pick, 183rd overall, in the 1974 draft. Here's the catch; He didn't
actually exist. Bored with the slow draft process, and feeling a bit
mischievous, Buffalo GM Punch Imlach invented Taro, reportedly a star center
from the fictional Japenese club the Tokyo Katanas (with a katana of course
being the Japanese equivalent of a sabre), and drafted him to fool the NHL big
wigs, as well as many media outlets. Imlach didn't let on about the prank until
training camp, and to this day you can still see Tsujimoto sweaters in the
Buffalo arena. Score got in on the fun with this card from their 2010/11 Rookies
& Traded set featuring an unidentified Japanese player. For more detail about the Taro Tsujimoto story click here.
June 16th, 2015
I Hope Alec's Day Came First
With yesterday's awarding of the Stanley Cup this year, It's time to take a look back at some of the many
shenanigans that have occurred with the cup in the possession of some of the
players. For those among you yearning to have your own day with the Stanley Cup,
this particular entry serves as a cautionary reminder. Please make sure you
fully disinfect the Stanley Cup before you drink or eat out of it. I'm not sure
Alec Martinez did, and the look on his face says it all!