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The Bad Hockey Card Blog
This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time.
It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic
relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some
pretty serious shit!
There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them.
So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out
numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they
thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.
February 2nd, 2016
Confused Athletes #3
As we head into final week before the Superbowl, it seems like a
fitting time for the third edition of "Confused Athletes" in the BHCB. In
this Upper Deck entry, we have Alex Ovechkin changing sports as he attempts to
launch a Hail Mary in practice. He has long been known for his ability to quarterback
a powerplay in the NHL, so I suppose this is just the next logical step!
January 25th, 2016
Player Eaten by Blob: Story at 11:00!
Not really sure what to say about this one. I never thought I'd
have to describe a hockey card that features a hockey player being attacked by
purple ooze. This is a real head-scratcher of a design concept, and I'm not
really sure what Score was even going for with this idea.
January 18th, 2016
Who Was "Thinkier"?
Tough call on this one. Both players are looking very thoughtful
here. Who doesn't love a good studio portrait? And by that I mean a pretentious,
black and white, heavily shadowed, hand-to-the-chin type deal. I feel smarter
just looking at this!
January 11th, 2016
Let The Tears Luce
Poor Don Luce. I'm not sure if he's so sad in this picture because it's another bad airbrushing job,
or simply because he's now found himself playing for the Maple Leafs. Either
way, this is one of the most depressing looks you're likely to see on a hockey
January 1st, 2016
World Junior Jokers
Yes, this is truly a wonderful time of the year, what with
Christmas, New Year's celebrations, and most importantly the World Junior Hockey
Championships! And naturally with every new year we get an new crop of young
hotshots at this tournament. And as you can see by the bewildering action in
this picture, these guys like to ham it up in front of a camera.
December 21st, 2015
Have A Very Cheesy Christmas!
Christmas is a truly amazing time of year. There are so many great things about it, from spending time with loved ones,
to Christmas dinner, to giving and receiving presents,
to all the great holiday decorations, and so much more. What's not so great about it is this promotional card put out by Upper Deck circa 1992.
This is the single cheesiest thing I've seen, and I'm hard pressed to figure out
as any actual card release how this benefits anybody in any way. However, if you looked at it and got a good chuckle,
then we have our answer. This card's for you! Merry Christmas from the Bad Hockey Card Blog!
December 14th, 2015
Awkward Art Cards
This Ed Van Impe art card looks pretty natural doesn't it? Nope? Yeah,
that's what I thought too. Ever since the first person successfully turned a
painting into a hockey card image, card companies have been trying their hand at
recreating the beauty and grace of the game of hockey with these sketchy looking
art cards. Unfortunately, "beauty" and "grace" aren't
exactly the words that come to mind when viewing this card from the 92-93
Parhhurst series 3 set. (Who would've thought the quality could possibly drop in
a Series 3?). Poor Ed here looks like he's experiencing skating for the first
time in his life!
December 7th, 2015
Mutiny On The Hockey Card
I am pleased to introduce a card design so ugly, that even the players on that very card are shocked by it!
Yep, in 1994 Pinnacle made history when they somehow managed to get two
dimensional images to seemingly mutiny at the atrocious, oversized foil stamp
that was the hallmark of this terrible set. It's almost as if you can see
Stephane Richer reaching over to try and move the bloody thing right off of the
face of the card as two Sabres also attempt to make out the hideous nature of
the spectacle before them. Is that a monolith? A medal? A deadly weapon? A centipede?! We may
December 1st, 2015
There are more than a few hockey cards out there that feature players caught
in the act of doing something penalty worthy. This one, however, sets a whole
new standard for nasty. Donald Audette seems to be pulling off a
"slew foot for the ages" in this picture. In the immortal words of
Slapshots' Denis Lemieux, it's time for you to go to the box, Donald, and
November 24th, 2015
Pointlessness on Parade
This has to be one of the most pointless hockey cards in history.
Perhaps that shouldn't come as a surprise being as it comes from one of the most
pointless card companies of all time. Whatever the case, here's Pro Set giving
themselves a big pat on the back by commemorating the "Pro Set Youth
Parade". This somehow made it into their 91-92 "Newsreel" subset,
but one definitely gets the impression that it was a slow news day.
November 16th, 2015
Oh, Man! I just dropped my keys!
Hockey cards are supposed to capture all the epic on-ice action of
one of the fastest sports in the world. It truly amazes me how we end up with a
bullshit card picture like this one of Alexandre Daigle doing god knows what on
the bench. Mind you, this was the early Ottawa Senators we're talking about, and
they brought new meaning to the word "awful" during their first few
years. Nobody took more abuse from media and fans than Daigle himself, so on
second thought, maybe he was just looking under the bench for a place to hide.
November 6th, 2015
Lanny McDonald - Movember Overachiever
As we hit the month of "Movember" to celebrate the issue of men's
health, it's time to check out the true MVP of the hairy lip! In the annals of hockey lore, Lanny McDonald is widely recognized
to have had the best moustache of all time, and we have a great close-up view of
that legendary 'stache in this mid-eighties O-Pee-Chee hockey card. But the
really bizarre piece to the puzzle was his 74-75 rookie card that shows an ultra
rare image of a clean shaven Lanny. What a fresh faced, clean cut young boy,
that Lanny McDonald!
October 28th, 2015
There aren't many Halloween themed hockey cards around (thank goodness!),
but this one Upper Deck entry with a puzzling lighting scheme seems to invoke
the telling of scary stories around a campfire. Even Dean McAmmond's intent listening
pose screams "ghost story". Say did you here the one about the man with a hook for
a hand? Yeah, they gave him two minutes for hooking. Ugh...sorry.
October 20th, 2015
Topps had a funny little notion back in 1980. They decided they
would add a hot new gimmick to their set by including a black scratch off area.
For the majority of cards in the set, the area to be concealed was that little
puck design you see here which typically listed the player's name and position.
It would add that extra component of mystery until you scratched the area and
saw which player card you actually had. However the Team Leaders cards in the
set had a different layout, which offered a logistical challenge in trying to
obscure several player names on a sizeable leader list. Naturally, that led to
this "partial eclipse" of a card that you see below, which has more
than a third of the card covered in this black gunk that was probably toxic. It
looks as though the CIA has redacted large parts of this hockey card, and worst
of all, scratching the area off would remove the bulk of the value of the card.
The Canadian version of this set, produced by O-Pee-Chee, didn't include the
scratch-off at all.
October 12th, 2015
Here's a great photo snap of Mike Modano doing his best impression
of a bug hitting a windshield. I'm sure he was fine, but if you do still feel the
need to laugh at Mike Modano getting hurt, then you can always check out this
great clip of him getting dropped while on a stretcher. Now that's
October 5th, 2015
Return Of The Mullet!
With Jaromir Jagr's momentous announcement that he is bringing back
his trademark mullet for this season (see the news story here), we felt it was a
great time to showcase a "greatest hits" collection of his trademark
look as depicted on many amazing hockey cards from the 90's. What a fantastic
way to celebrate the return of mullet madness!
September 29th, 2015
Let The Fanimation Debacle Begin!
Oh boy, are we gonna have fun with this one! This series features
probably the most ill conceived notion of all time in the hockey card world...
taking everyday NHL players and changing them into comic book superheroes.
Terribly imagined, poorly drawn, superheroes at that. Meet the Fanimation
series. There are a few others in this subset that I will gleefully unveil over the coming
months, but let's dive right in to this entry. Check out that mane of hair on
Eric in this drawing. Did they mix him up with Jagr? And is it me, or does this
look more like John Travolta than Lindros? Check out the sloppy cartooning of
his very mutant looking bicep/forearm. Yikes. Worst of all, knowing what we know
now about Eric Lindros, maybe this character should have been wearing a
September 22nd, 2015
We all know that when it comes to hockey, the media attention in Canada
is crazy. So why not chronicle that with a card featuring a half-dressed Denis
Savard with a bunch of microphones jammed in his face? If the whole scene seems
like a strange and fairly awkward thing to put on a hockey card, that's because
September 13th, 2015
Wretched Airbrushing Abomination #4
It's been a while since I posted one of these airbrushing disasters of the 80's
to the BHCB. I can assure you, it's not because I've run out of them. Sadly
there are plenty of examples, almost all of them bad. This one features Dave
Barr, who had just been traded from St. Louis to Hartford. Naturally they
thought with a couple of strokes of green and white that they could rectify the
problem. Uh...no. The green is pretty bad, but as usual with this sort of thing,
it's the logo that really takes it on the chin. The right side of the
"W" looks like it was drawn with an etch-a-sketch, and the whale's
tail is so far off the rest of the logo that you could drive a truck through
September 6th, 2015
Dandy Denis Dupere
This has to be one of the great studio shots of all-time. The curly
haired Dupere almost appears to be wearing little pig tails in this photo. Not
to mention that fabulous moustache and larger than life grin of his. Even
something about his pose seems a little off. Truly one for the ages!
August 27th, 2015
Searching For Lost Balls
When it comes to pictures of NHL players driving odd things, I'm not sure we could ever top that card of Pat Falloon on a
tractor that I posted earlier.
Having said that, Curtis Joseph is making a good bid for the title of oddest
vehicular shot in hockey card history with this entry involving him piloting a
golf cart. He also earns extra points for touching his balls during this photo.
Daring move, but I think it really paid off! Not sure who the dopey NHLPA guy is