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The Bad Hockey Card Blog
This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time.
It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic
relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some
pretty serious shit!
There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them.
So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out
numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they
thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.
October 18th, 2016
Do You Mind?
Here we have yet another entry from "Be A Player", the set that shows
the lives of NHL'ers away from the rink. This set typically gives an interesting
look at the hobbies and pastimes that players get up to, particularly in the off
season. This card, however, just showcases Joe Sakic having lunch. Yep, there's
nothing more exciting than seeing how our sporting heroes eat their meals! Joe
seems mighty pleased about this photographic encounter too! Who wouldn't
October 13th, 2016
"Just A Second Guys!"
Once again we see the unrelenting action of the NHL on full display!
Yes, Zigmund Palffy and Joe Alphabet both showcase their skate tying acumen in a
pair of hockey cards that should have hit the cutting room floor. Well, at least
we can all relate to how awful it is to have to stop an entire game to fix your
damn laces. Should've double knotted those!
October 3rd, 2016
The UD "Be A Player" brand once put out a subset featuring Roy Firestone
(for some reason) entitled "Up Close And Personal". However
judging by the look of longing that Teemu Sealanne seems to have in this image, one could get the impression
that he really wants to get up close and personal with Roy Firestone! It's okay,
Teemu, give in to your man crush!
September 27th, 2016
One Man On An Island
A dejected Nathan MacKinnon sits all alone on a bench in the
dressing room. I'm not sure if this was after his team was eliminated or after
he received word of his family pet being run over by the neighbors, but either
way it seems like a personal moment that probably shouldn't have become a mass
produced piece of cardboard (or canvas in this case?). For heaven's sake, leave
the man alone for a damn minute!
September 20th, 2016
We've seen some ugly designs in this blog, but this one has to be at the top of any list
of unfortunate graphic design concepts. I probably should have put a warning
label on this one for anyone that is prone to having seizures.
September 12th, 2016
This is a great card depicting Pat Flatley of the New York Islanders
imagining how awesome it would be to eat some delicious bagels. In fact, you
can tell by his expression that he's really excited about it! This was a
laughable Pinnacle set that had players featured with their hobbies/passions.
Apparently Pat owns a delicatessen with his brother, so this all makes some sort
of sense, but it's still hard to imagine a little kid getting excited when
opening a fresh pack with this bagel related hockey card in it. An elderly
Jewish man on the other hand...
September 4th, 2016
Late Bloomer... VERY Late!
Every now and again some errors seem to sneak through the
proofreaders. Sometimes they are amusing in their own way as with this Pro Set
Platinum card, featuring an extremely mature Michel Goulet as a
"Prospect" despite the fact that he was nearly 15 years into his pro
career at the time. The prospects of him putting up the 50 goal seasons he did
as a youngster were slim to none at this point. Well, at least this card still
had some belief in him!
July 9th, 2016
Yes, These Are Hockey Cards!
With the NHL and now the NWBHL off for the summer break, the Bad Hockey Card Blog will follow suit and take
a short hiatus until September. Fittingly, we will post this entry that perfectly symbolizes a break in the action. The "Be A Player"
brand continues to deliver for this blog with yet another head-scratching set of what are supposed to be hockey cards.
You probably wouldn't know that from first glance though. They are though, I swear!
June 24th, 2016
It's NHL Entry Draft Day! That means it's time to take a look back at that most infamous of moments from the
draft's history. I speak, of course, about the Eric Lindros draft snub of the Quebec Nordiques. Though the incident was highly publicized,
card companies largely shied away from the controversy... that is execpt for Pinnacle which released this card with Lindros carrying, but not
donning the Nordiques jersey. It's seemingly the only card in existence that actually portrays the wild events of that day.
June 19th, 2016
Father Knows Best
Happy Father's Day, everyone! The NHL is really great these days about getting
family involved in events, so there are more than a few hockey cards out there of NHL dads
doing the fatherly thing. Here are a few of my favourites.
June 13th, 2016
Of Penguins and Presidents
With the Pittsburgh Penguins having just claimed another Stanley Cup, and the US
Presidential race going absolutely bananas at the moment, what better time than
now to unveil this beauty? Here we have Mario Lemieux presenting a jersey and
replica Stanley Cup to then president George Bush (uh... the first one). The
scene depicted on this Upper Deck card was actually a moment of awkward
hilarity. Bush's speech just prior to this moment spoke of the heroics of Mario
Lemieux and the leadership of the Mario Lemieux and the talent of Mario Lemieux.
Then Lemieux steps up to the podium to present the president with these gifts
and a bewildered Bush turns to him and says "And you are...?". Classic
June 1st, 2016
We're Doing This Now?!
Robert Reichel seems less than pleased with this impromptu photo
session. Yes, the life of an NHL'er isn't always sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes it's autographing hockey sticks in full gear with pushy photographers
in your face.
May 25th, 2016
Through The Wormhole
This is perhaps the most bizarre hockey card in history. What makes
it even more special is that this was actually from a set in the early 70's,
back before the same old tired shots had been taken a million times, forcing
card companies to become more creative. This was an early use of the fisheye
lens that would come into heavier circulation in later decades, albeit much more
extreme. I'm not sure if this distortion was planned, or perhaps something that
just happened and the folks at Topps decided to run with it. Either way, this
definitely made for one of the most unique hockey cards of all time! And my
final thought is that if Hal 9000 were a hockey fan, is this what he'd see?
May 18th, 2016
Jarome Iginla has sure been on his fair share of odd hockey cards, and you can add this one to the mix as well.
Here he is busting through a stick rack for some unknown reason. I'm not really
sure if this was meant to pay homage to the infamous scene in The Shining where
Jack Nicholson sticks his head through the door, but this card certainly gave me
some good flashbacks to that moment. In any case, Jarome does sort of look like
an axe murderer in this photo, so I guess the shoe fits.
May 12th, 2016
Great Moments In Crotch History
I have to admit to being taken a little off guard by this Score subset.
Why they chose to put these kids in such a... um... compromising position is
beyond me. I'm not sure if anybody bothered to do a background check on this
photographer or what, but there just seems to be something a little off about
May 5th, 2016
It Was All A Blur
This, for some reason, is a card of Dion Phaneuf quickly brushing
past a photographer, presumably on his way to the ice, or the locker room, or perhaps
to the airport on his way out of town (which may explain why he's moving so
fast). You can tell it happened fast because there's not bloody much in
focus here, and what we do see of Phaneuf isn't particularly noteworthy. I
honestly can't figure out how this picture got the green light to appear on a
hockey card. I know Upper Deck has a penchant for using interesting photography,
but this isn't interesting so much as just plain bad. It might have earned some
marks if you could make out the mantras posted on the wall, the top one of which
actually reads "Focus On The Details". Oh, the irony!
April 27th, 2016
Phil Watson - Stoner
What a fantastic picture this is of Phil Watson while he was
coaching the Bruins. He looks like he's baked out of his mind in this shot. Upon
closer inspection, it appears that he may have suffered a recent eye injury, and
by recent I mean about 10 seconds before this picture was taken. It kind of
makes you wonder why they used this one, or at least decided to accentuate what
was pretty clearly not his "good side".
April 20th, 2016
"Now With Cleveland...All Of Them"
It's a very common site to see recently acquired hockey players
with the "Now With ______" notation on them. What you typically don't
see, however, is an entire team getting traded on a hockey card. As it happens,
this very event unfolded in 1976 as the Oakland Seals, packed up and moved to
Cleveland to become the Barons.
April 14th, 2016
1987-88 will forever be remembered as the year green went
supernova, at least as far as this set is considered. This isn't even an example
of a botched airbrush attempt, by the way. Dave Tippett had actually been with
the Whalers for the previous four seasons. For whatever reason, the guy in
charge of the colour correction on these photos was either colour blind or on
crack! It's a problem on every green jersey in the set, be it the Hartford
Whalers or Minnesota North Stars.