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The Bad Hockey Card Blog
This is a fun little project I have been wanting to do for a long time.
It really has nothing to do with the league except to give people one more reason to stop by the site on a weekly basis and perhaps provide some comic
relief, which is much needed as we know that rec ball hockey is generally some
pretty serious shit!
There is no shortage of terrible hockey cards out there and I am the not-so-proud owner of a bunch of them.
So with that said, over the coming weeks and months, I will be marching out
numerous examples of photographic misdeeds, oddities and downright "What were they
thinking?" moments that should prove quite entertaining.
July 31st, 2015
Unnecessary Hockey Cards #2
So or course this nearly endless 90/91 Pro Set edition had to cover every coach in
the league as well. I chose this great Bob Murdoch
card because it definitely seemed like the "coachiest". Poor Bob
doesn't look too happy in this one, but then again coaching the then last place
Winnipeg Jets could get on anybody's nerves. Bob was fired at the end of this
season, but hey, he'll always have this great card to commemorate that year! So
know we've seen a puck card and coaching cards... it couldn't get any worse
could it? If you think it couldn't, you're a damned fool! Stay tuned...
July 24th, 2015
Unnecessary Hockey Cards
Back at the beginning of the 90's there was a card boom that saw an explosion of card manufacturers and
sets. Nobody really knew how much was too much at that time, but Pro Set would
be the first to find out in 90/91. They made a staggering 705 card set, released
over the course of three different series. Keep in mind that there were only 21
teams that year, so pretty much anybody that even walked by a rink made it into
this set. The set culminated with this entry: Card #705 - The Puck. Well thanks
to this card, at least now we know what the French word for puck is. Over the
next few entries, I'll delve into some of the other ridiculous examples of the
excess of this set.
July 13th, 2015
Talk about extreme close-ups! In fact we're so close in this picture that you can actually see the spittle running down
Rick Tabaracci's face and dripping from his chin. It's like the first time you saw a
TV newscast in hi-def,
allowing you to see every pimple and crack in the newscaster's skin. Just too damn much information!
July 4th, 2015
Mary Lou Retton With a Perfect Dismount!
We can't celebrate Canada Day without also giving some love to our
neighbours to the south. We have a truly fitting entry for our 4th of July
festivities! This is Steve Janasek's epic podium celebration upon winning
the gold in 1980's famed "Miracle On Ice". However, this pose doesn't
exactly invoke an image of tough-as-nails hockey players, but rather a gymnast
finishing a perfect routine. For all you kids out there that missed the
reference, Mary Lou Retton was the darling of the 1984 American Olympic team,
winning gymnastics gold on home soil. As for Steve, it's worth noting that his
moustache is also gold medal worthy!
July 1st, 2015
Hockey Canada Hijinx #2
There's no better way to celebrate Canada's birthday than with a good old fashioned World Junior card. In fact, it looks
like Joe Thornton has gotten the jump on celebrating the big day, as he already
looks pretty inebriated in this particular photo. Happy Canada Day, folks!
June 24th, 2015
With the NHL entry draft set to happen this week, it seems like a good time to look back at one of the
real classic draft stories from the past. The player you're looking at on this card is Taro Tsujimoto... sort of. He was the
Buffalo Sabres' 11th round pick, 183rd overall, in the 1974 draft. Here's the catch; He didn't
actually exist. Bored with the slow draft process, and feeling a bit
mischievous, Buffalo GM Punch Imlach invented Taro, reportedly a star center
from the fictional Japenese club the Tokyo Katanas (with a katana of course
being the Japanese equivalent of a sabre), and drafted him to fool the NHL big
wigs, as well as many media outlets. Imlach didn't let on about the prank until
training camp, and to this day you can still see Tsujimoto sweaters in the
Buffalo arena. Score got in on the fun with this card from their 2010/11 Rookies
& Traded set featuring an unidentified Japanese player. For more detail about the Taro Tsujimoto story click here.
June 16th, 2015
I Hope Alec's Day Came First
With yesterday's awarding of the Stanley Cup this year, It's time to take a look back at some of the many
shenanigans that have occurred with the cup in the possession of some of the
players. For those among you yearning to have your own day with the Stanley Cup,
this particular entry serves as a cautionary reminder. Please make sure you
fully disinfect the Stanley Cup before you drink or eat out of it. I'm not sure
Alec Martinez did, and the look on his face says it all!
June 9th, 2015
Science Creates Skater/Goalie Hybrid
Will the wonders of modern technology never cease? It appears the Montreal Canadians have created the
perfect shot blocking forward in a lab somewhere. This half-skater/half-goalie
hybrid is the result of fortunate timing as Benoit Brunet skates in front of
Patrick Roy as the shutter clicks.
June 4th, 2015
Get Off My Card!
There are plenty of hockey cards in the world that picture more than one player as the central focus of the card.
However, it's most unfortunate when you are in the type of card set where they
crop out the usual background in favour of a specialty card design
meant to enhance the focus on the player that is the subject of the card... when
you have "company". In both cases below, the players are so linked to
their checks that they couldn't be extricated without removing a great deal of
the body of the card subject. Thanks to these cards, the players on them are now
locked into a battle on cardboard stretching into eternity.
May 27th, 2015
Generals Win Memorial Cup/TV Combo
Way back in 1990, when the Oshawa Generals won the Memorial Cup led by a young buck named Eric
Lindros, a 27 inch television may well have been a big score. I'm not exactly
sure why they got awarded this particular prize, or what they did with it. Or
perhaps I'm reading this wrong and it wasn't something they won, but rather the
team's unsung hero for all their successful video review in the tourney. Either
way, with the monster TV sets that exist nowadays, it seems to make this photo
look a tad dated. The good news is that despite the relatively small screen
size, it looks to have a VHS component as well. Bonus!!!
May 20th, 2015
In honour of David Letterman's final show, I just had to post this beauty
of Sandy McCarthy doing his best Dave impersonation. After many years of taking
the standard classic action pics we all associate with hockey cards, Upper Deck
decided it would shake things up a bit by throwing all sorts of random things
into their sets. As a kid I'm not sure I'd have been too thrilled with getting
this card in a pack, but as an adult, a lifelong Letterman fan, and a guy who
writes a blog about bad hockey cards, I couldn't be happier with their decision.
May 13th, 2015
I'm not sure what these guys are thinking of at the moment, but I'm
pretty sure they're up to no good. Of course, goalies have always been a bit of
a different breed, but until now I've never thought of them as criminal, except
for when they are committing on ice robberies, naturally. Never have I seen such a sinister looking duo
in my life.
May 6th, 2015
This is one of the all-timer's, folks! Here we have Jacques Lemaire pictured in his Buffalo Sabres uniform, with the Sabres name and logo
emblazoned at the
bottom. There's just one catch- Lemaire never played for Buffalo. He didn't even go there
in a paper transaction. This card, in fact, was merely the result of a trade
rumour during the offseason, and O-Pee-Chee in their brilliance, decided to get a jump on the impending trade of Lemaire from Montreal to Buffalo
with a little of their classic airbrushing. The trade didn't happen, but it was
too late to stop production and this card went out into the market, making the company look
like a bunch of freakin' idiots.
April 28th, 2015
When you have a receding hairline, there must be nothing better than
seeing a photographer get on his step stool and put
on a zoom lens to take a close-up of the top of your head. This is certainly the
oddest angle you're ever going to see a player portrait taken from. Also take a
very close look at the odd three-legged Cougar in the team logo. It's almost
like the illustrator ran out of room and turned the back leg into a tail and for
some reason made the whole thing double back under the animal. That's
commercial design in the 70's for you.
April 20th, 2015
Hockey Canada Hijinx
Canadian national junior teams are often brought together for a photo day. These aren't on-ice pictures, so rather than take your typical boring
studio portraits, they sometimes shake things up with some interesting and downright bizarre shots.
Take this one for example. Is Dan Cleary shaving with that skate, or suggesting
that he could floss with it between that big ol' gap toothed grin of his? We may
never know...or care. Nice glasses though!
April 14th, 2015
It's time for me to give you guys a treat. This one doesn't belong in the Bad Hockey Card Blog so much as the Awesome Hockey Card
Blog! Yes, our
little Samantha Micelli is all grown up, and looking smoking hot, as it happens.
This is part of a set from Pinnacle called "Fans Of The Game" in which
they showcase celebrity hockey fans, though the set really pushes the boundaries
of what you'd consider celebrity. No complaints on this one however!
April 3rd, 2015
Confused Athletes #2
With the impending baseball season close to getting underway, I
thought this might be a timely addition to the BHCB. Here's Hall Of Fame pitcher Tom Glavine taking a slap shot in his full
Atlanta Braves uniform. Like the Steve Nash entry, this appears to be a real
fish-out-of-water image. However, what you may not know is that Tom was a star
high school hockey player and was drafted by the LA Kings in 1984...two rounds
earlier than Brett Hull and five rounds earlier than the Kings would pick Luc
Robitaille. Though it would have been cool to see Tom on the ice, I think when
he looks back on the choosing of his baseball career, he'll say it actually
turned out not too bad. In any case, we'll always have this card to remind us of what could have been!